Seeking Sanity

July 10, 2008 — 3 Comments

Not sure what Sanity is anymore. I feel as if I have lost it. I am looking forward to going to Florida in the near future and laying on the beach. Maybe even getting to take a kid free walk with my husband. That would be bliss right now.

This week has not been my cup of tea. Not that it has been totally aweful but it hasn’t been great either. I loved having all my family in and getting to spend time with them. Wasn’t so prepared to have Grandma and Grandpa show up as early as they did but it was nice to get to spend some time with them before everyone was there. I didn’t sleep well at all through the weekend. I don’t know if I was just worried about everything that we had going on or if I just was restless. Sunday was relaxing and I tried to ‘catch up’ on some rest but still couldn’t sleep. Monday was nice for a couple of hours of just spending time with the girls. Only to come up stair and see a half of pan of brownies missing that Ephriam ate. Tuesday was a really good therapy day for Ephriam. Both Kendra and I were wore out. I was really sleeping well before I had to get up to take him to therapy, actually I missed the alarm and got up late. Went to bed early on Tuesday night and slept well. Only to wake up Wednesday morning to a burning up 2 year old. Since our pneumonia infection in March I decided to just go ahead and call the doctor. Good thing I did because she had a pretty nasty infection in her throat. Strep is not common for her age so just a nasty bug. Kendra then only napped for an hour so only a 45 minute nap for me befor having to work. Tried to lay on the couch and let her watch TV but she was really fussy from not feeling well. Hoping for some good sleep this morning.

Have I mentioned that my quite times with Jesus are out of sink too? Can’t seem to focus. I keep getting off track quickly. I try so hard to stay on task only to be defeated on a list on things to do. Makes me hate Satan even more! Trying to keep my from my Father eats me up. Then I only get angry. Joe also put us on assignment this month to say the Lord’s Prayer 2 times a day with someone. Doing okay since I have the kids around and get to say it with Chris. Although, I feel like I am back at the Catholic Church. Sometimes just letting the words flow from my mouth not really concentrating on what I am saying. Again working hard to stay focus on what it is really about.

Plus I am still having some anxiety about going back to school. Yes, I want it bad, so bad sometimes it just seems out of reach. Right now I am just waiting. Waiting to hear what they say. Am I one of the 25 chosen? I dislike waiting. Ask Chris, he will tell you that it is one of the things I am worst at. Waiting.

Wow it feels pretty good to let this out. Maybe this is the sanity I need. Maybe just a blog post to let the steam out. Maybe. We’ll see. This is really what my blog is for. To blow steam or tell you about the good things.

Good thing =Vacation. Can’t wait to get there. (Remember I am not good at the waiting thing. Seems so far away.)

Well I guess that I will stop rambling and get back to work. Maybe a better post next time.

walkerfm

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3 responses to Seeking Sanity

  1. Before you know it we will be scrambling around getting ready for our trip to Florida. Don’t wish that stress of getting everything packed and ready on us yet. But I am also looking forward to an actual vacation.

  2. Was looking at the blog of churchpunk.com and saw pictures of the kids. Lovely. Can’t believe how long KC’s hair is. Ephriam’s is getting more blonde. You should be looking forward to vacation you desereve it. Working and having kids is hard on everybody. So don’t be hard on yourself,God doesn’t give is more than we can handle is what everyone told me. You will make it. Hope the party went fine,good to see everyone I’ll bet,but good to see them leave too! Been there done that too. Pretty soon it will be school time and there will be another bunch of trying times. It will all work out. Trust me.
    Miss you and pray you are fine. Love and kisses Aunt Martie

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. Faith Walker » Blog Archive » Getting Better - July 15, 2008

    […] seem to be fussy and getting into anything they shouldn’t be into. I just needed to have my Seeking Sanity post. Sometimes you just need to have a little breakdown before a little build […]

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