Okay so this all started to come about about 4 months ago when I got a call from my Grandmother with concerns about Ephriam. She caught me at a bad time and this lead to a huge melt down. And I mean HUGE. Hours of crying, worrying, praying, hoping, and wondering.
Now no at the time I didn’t think anything was wrong with him (and still don’t for that matter). I thought that maybe he might need a little help but wasn’t thinking that he was what my Grandmother says that he was (he still isn’t according to his doctor). I was just having a meltdown just incase. Incase of what you wonder. And just what in the heck am I really talking about? Autism. I was indeed offened and some days still am that someone might think that about my son especially since I don’t think he is.
This all lead to me working with him more trying to prove the world wrong. I didn’t want him to be ‘special’ in any kind of way. I wanted him to be a normal kid. In part for my sake because I didn’t think I could handle it but mostly for him. I didn’t want the cruel world to lable him, tease, him or even get there hands on him. I wanted him to run, jump, and play like a normal kid. I just wanted him to be normal.
Then Kendra was do for he 15 month check up so I thought that I would schedule Ephriam’s 3 year well child check with hers and get the ‘real’ scoop. I already knew that he needed some speech therapy and could deal with that knowing he would just go for a while and then be done but even though I knew he was fine I needed an expect opion to ease my mind or help in the next step. So off to the doctors we go. Ephriam has seem to have made some progress with us working with him to get him to talk. Some days are better then other and some days nothing. After spending over an hour on just Ephriam Dr. Lang confirmed that he would need a little extra help to catch up with the other kids his age but no he didn’t have Austism. She felt that he was too curious, cuddly, and interactive to have austism. Man was there some relief behind that. Praise the Lord she only felt that he had developmental delays and needed some therapy. So she faxed the referrals over and we were off home.
I felt so much relief and better being able to tell people that he just needed help catching up with the other kids. And that we did find that he would need some occupational therapy along with the speech therapy. I could now say something in response to people’s questions about him. There was an answer.
That was really what I was looking for. It really didn’t matter if he was going to need extra help along the way or not what I was really looking for was an answer to my question. What if? Could I really handle all the things that he need? Could we get him all the help? And what about the money? Now I know and have known all along…
YES. Yes I can handle it no matter what. Yes we will get him help. The money will come too. The answer is Yes. Even though he hasn’t seen any of the therapist yet and Austism is still a possible diagnoses I know that Yes I will handle it.
One family that has 4 kids in our small group has an austic child. How do they do it? How do you devote the time needed not only for the other children but also for Austims?
The Answer: GOD! Through all him all things are possible (that is verse somewhere in the bible) By prayer! Praying had for his guidance to do the right thing. There are also all sort of support groups out there to help too. Not to mention that Cincinnati Children’s Hospital offers groups for parents who’s children have special needs. GOD has given it all to us.
God has entrusted me with his beloved son, Ephriam Michael Walker. God gave him his name, birthday, parents, sibling, ect. He has entrusted me with him and his needs.
I am going to make it happen for him. I am enjoying momments now like “love you too” and “all aboard” things that 4 months ago we didn’t ever hear and now hear day in and day out.
I also got to talk with a neonatolgist about the possible causes for Ephriam’s delays. I wonder if maybe his 27 bilirubin as a baby had anything to do with it. She told me probably not. It was probably just the fact that he is a 1st born male child with a sibling so close in age. Cause while worring about anything else you wonder if there is something else that you could have done for him or that you could have changed and if that is the answer then the answer is no. I can’t change it and wouldn’t for the world. I love being a mom even though it is tough some times. I love it. I love my kids and enjoy seeing them grow.
I am now looking forward to see what he will be able to do with a little help. I am looking forward to seeing him grow to his age and beyond. Mostly I am going to be there to pull him through on rough days and celebrate the good ones. He will know that he is loved and cared for. Not just from his early parents but also that his Heavenly Father loves him more.
Ephriam will continue to go to church with kids his age and do the things they are doing. He will continue to play and pray with them. He will have friend there I am sure to pull him through too. I know that the people that have in right now look for him to come to church. He has put a mark on there hearts and we get so many good remarks on his behavior.
Now my outlook… We will survive and pull through no matter what. For God is on our side always.