My spirits have been up since I last posted. I don’t feel like the rain is coming down and there is no sunshine at the end. Just a couple of bad weeks is all and now back to the norm( or so I hope.)
My spirits started to lift on more on Friday when my brother came for a visit. I totally enjoyed my time with him this past weekend even though it was short. He has really ‘grown up’ in a way over the past couple of years. He is really a level headed guy with good dreams. I am proud that he is my brother. I stayed up too late on Friday talking to him but really just enjoyed his company. Got lots of laughs and some seriousness too. Wish that Katie and him were going to the beach with us but know that they have other plans. We will miss them while we are there.
Sunday I got to lay out in the sun with no children for about an hour and half. I started to notice that even with sunscreen on that I was getting a little red so I came inside. My kids were glad to see me and I enjoyed my little bit of a break from them.
Monday was even better yet. One of the girls at Bible study shared an amazing thing that happened to her. It was a really great story and glad that she shared it with us. I got to spend a few moments with Penny before anyone else got there and that is always nice for me. I always feel so different after small group or our bible study meetings. I know that is just that great time that we all get to spend basking in Gods love together. I really enjoying doing life with them. I pray for each of them and their needs as they do for us. Many times I find that at least one other person has gone through what I am going through and even if there is no advice I feel that there is a bit of understanding. I can’t tell you how many times a week or even a day I thank God for putting us where we are. He has truly taken care of our needs. I can say that this is where we are called to be. Now from time to time it does have its downs. I dislike living 45 minutes from church or having to drive at least 30 minutes to another member of small groups house but it is worth that time. Worth the extra miles and minutes to be blessed in ways that I never dreamed we would. Feeling connected to a community and not just an attendee. Feeling all the time that we as people matter and are more then just a number week in and week out. Having someone know your kids name and miss them when they are not in church. I know that for almost a year now I have been saying how wonderful things have been but they truly are. They make my interchild giggle with joy. Joy that had been lost for many years. Joy that I am glad to have found. So thank you so much to our dear Vineyard family for making us a part of yours and making us feel at home.
Things are getting better around the house. Even though the kids seem to be fussy and getting into anything they shouldn’t be into. I just needed to have my Seeking Sanity post. Sometimes you just need to have a little breakdown before a little build up.
The kids are doing better. Fussy but better. The bug is really kicking Kendra’s tail. She has been just wanting to sit and watch TV with me, or Chris, or Grandpa. If that isn’t happening then she is just a wreck. Walking around crying and fussing and waiting to ‘Hold you’, mostly I think because she isn’t sleeping well. (I know I better take advantage now before she doesn’t want me to hold her at all.) Ephriam is pretty much him old self minus the cough and runny nose.
My time with Jesus is better. Could last longer but I just feel so tired since I have been doing things out of schedule to keep the kids at home and yet try to get me some rest. Going to bed after midnight and getting up at 7:30 is not for me. I really want to go to bed earlier just don’t seem to make it there. But at least I am getting 10 minutes of good time verus 30 minutes of scattered time. I loved Joe’s sermon on Sunday. I took lots of notes and probably could have used another piece of paper.
Now about school. Still having anixety and probably will till I know if I got into the program at work or not. Part one is done. Accepted to Cincinnati State. Now just waiting to hear from work. Have I mentioned that I don’t do well on waiting? It really stinks. I am hanging in there though. REALLY hoping it is my time.
Started getting things ready for vacation. Have a few things left to pick up but have plenty of time to do so. I am getting more excited everyday. Now just to keep things organized so that things stay simple. Yes, I know it isn’t such an easy thing for me to do but hoping to make it that way for an easy pay off in the end.
Well I guess that I should do some more work. Just wanted to let you know that I didn’t have a mental breakdown for long. I am on the mend and doing much better. Actually, my brother is coming this weekend and I am really looking forward to seeing him. I will miss his having his girlfriend, Katie, with us but hope that she enjoys her time back home. Check ya’ll later
Not sure what Sanity is anymore. I feel as if I have lost it. I am looking forward to going to Florida in the near future and laying on the beach. Maybe even getting to take a kid free walk with my husband. That would be bliss right now.
This week has not been my cup of tea. Not that it has been totally aweful but it hasn’t been great either. I loved having all my family in and getting to spend time with them. Wasn’t so prepared to have Grandma and Grandpa show up as early as they did but it was nice to get to spend some time with them before everyone was there. I didn’t sleep well at all through the weekend. I don’t know if I was just worried about everything that we had going on or if I just was restless. Sunday was relaxing and I tried to ‘catch up’ on some rest but still couldn’t sleep. Monday was nice for a couple of hours of just spending time with the girls. Only to come up stair and see a half of pan of brownies missing that Ephriam ate. Tuesday was a really good therapy day for Ephriam. Both Kendra and I were wore out. I was really sleeping well before I had to get up to take him to therapy, actually I missed the alarm and got up late. Went to bed early on Tuesday night and slept well. Only to wake up Wednesday morning to a burning up 2 year old. Since our pneumonia infection in March I decided to just go ahead and call the doctor. Good thing I did because she had a pretty nasty infection in her throat. Strep is not common for her age so just a nasty bug. Kendra then only napped for an hour so only a 45 minute nap for me befor having to work. Tried to lay on the couch and let her watch TV but she was really fussy from not feeling well. Hoping for some good sleep this morning.
Have I mentioned that my quite times with Jesus are out of sink too? Can’t seem to focus. I keep getting off track quickly. I try so hard to stay on task only to be defeated on a list on things to do. Makes me hate Satan even more! Trying to keep my from my Father eats me up. Then I only get angry. Joe also put us on assignment this month to say the Lord’s Prayer 2 times a day with someone. Doing okay since I have the kids around and get to say it with Chris. Although, I feel like I am back at the Catholic Church. Sometimes just letting the words flow from my mouth not really concentrating on what I am saying. Again working hard to stay focus on what it is really about.
Plus I am still having some anxiety about going back to school. Yes, I want it bad, so bad sometimes it just seems out of reach. Right now I am just waiting. Waiting to hear what they say. Am I one of the 25 chosen? I dislike waiting. Ask Chris, he will tell you that it is one of the things I am worst at. Waiting.
Wow it feels pretty good to let this out. Maybe this is the sanity I need. Maybe just a blog post to let the steam out. Maybe. We’ll see. This is really what my blog is for. To blow steam or tell you about the good things.
Good thing =Vacation. Can’t wait to get there. (Remember I am not good at the waiting thing. Seems so far away.)
Well I guess that I will stop rambling and get back to work. Maybe a better post next time.