This is not something that is new to me. Ever since becoming a mom I seem tired all the time. It got even worse when I switched to working night shift and then got pregnant with a second baby. It got better for a while while all I did was work. Now that I am working full time and going to school part time sleep seems to be something I long for. This week started out with me getting plenty of rest but the tide turned at the end of the week. 4 hours, 6 hours, or maybe 7 hours here and there. None of them all in  a row but on and off. I am beginning to feel the way I did when I had 2 babies and worked full time. I know that this too will only be for a season but honestly I like my sleep. I dislike that I am grouchy especially since I have such a limited time with my kids. I am fighting through it today so that they get some of the best of me. Tonight though I will get real sleep. I am praying for 10 hours but hey beggers can’t be choosers. I will take what I can get. Tomorrow I hope to feel more rested and willing to play games and cuddle with my kids. They need that and so do I. I am looking forward to only working on the weekend this week. This means 4 nights in a row of sleep and rest. By the time I go back to work I should be doing great. For now I need to get dressed and ready to go to church. I can’t wait to go to church. It always makes me feel refreshed and renewed. It is a good place to be.

Where do you find your strength?

FW

I have 2 weeks left in my first term of nursing school. So far I feel like I am doing very well.  Skills lab seems to be getting easier and theory I feel  like I am learning something in. I just passed my skills test on Tuesday over shots. I was glad to pass on the first try. I took my 3rd test in theory and I think that I will get either a low A or a high B. I won’t know till Monday. I will be glad to have a break and then change things up. I will have new instructors and classes. Then after that term is over I will be able to have a little break for the summer and be able to hang at home with the kids or heck even going out to new places with the kids.

This also means there will be lots of watching of LOST. Yes, I know that that show was over a LONG time ago but Christopher and I didn’t watch it when it is was on but we are enjoying streaming it over Netflix.  We might even get to watch a movie or 2 too. We will just play that by ear.

For now it is back to work, school, sleep, eat.

FW

Today is the official beginning of Lent. Most people give up something or try to do something extra for 40 days. I on the other hand will NOT be.

Why?

Well because I still feel like it is something that I am forced to do. I don’t have an open heart to it. I still feel it is one of those rules that you I HAD to do while I was growing up.

So this year I am asking God to clean my mind of past experiences so that next year come Ash Wednesday I will have an open heart and mind to make a self sacrifice. Something even maybe Christopher and I could do together. I do know that probably one day during this season I will fast.  I usually do and that is just for me and God. A time to reflect on his sacrifice. We will just see how it plays out.

I am proud though of my husband for getting over that hump and giving up something he really likes. I am glad that I can be mostly accountable for him too and ask him about it.

So how about you? Do you give anything up?

Or I at least I hope today is.

I still have a killer headache that just won’t go away but I am hoping that it will soon. It doesn’t matter how much I sleep or how quite it is. Nothing seems to help and the 800 mg of Mortin is just even for it to take the edge off. Tylenol has done nothing at all for it. Yesterday I hoped that a work out would help but it didn’t. Actually it made it worse.

The kids were really good all day except for Kendra wouldn’t keep her hands off her brother even when he said no. There was at least no fighting or crying.

I really enjoyed the change for church even if we did worship at the end. I love when Joe gets up there and tells stories. I don’t know anyone who is a better story teller then he is.  The very last song we sang was  “How He Loves Me” by Chris Tromlin. Right now it is one of my very favorites and I was a hot mess by the time it was over but I think that we should all be a hot mess by the time we get done worshiping our father.

Today I am going to play games, do more exercise with Wii, and finish up my school work for Tuesday. I have a lot of stuff due and I need to study for a test. Tonight Christopher and I are having dinner with friends and I hope that we get to have a good time.

Well it is time to play some games and then work out.

FW

Today I am a little grumpy.

Why?

Well it might be this headache that I have now had for almost 2 days or it might be thinking of all the school work that I have to do before Tuesday for school. It might in be the fact that Tuesday is going to be the longest school day for me.

My kids however have been mostly good today. Kendra had a little bit of a meltdown this morning but I think that was mostly that she needed to eat breakfast other wise they have been good.

I am not excited to hear that church is going to be different this week either. This usually means that they are  going to preach first and then we are going to sing. I don’t like this because I feel like when we sing first that I am more apt to be open to what is being said. Not to mention my coffee is cool enough to drink. Oh well, I guess that I will just have to deal. I am glad however that Chris and I are going together.  I like that get to sit next to him and look at him when something they say strike me.

I am thinking about working out with the Wii this morning to see if maybe it will help the headache or at least make me less grumpy.

Yesterday by the way would have been my Grandmother’s 71st birthday. I miss her a lot. I hated when I called my grandpa on Thursday and got the machine that it wasn’t her anymore. Although it had been hard to call knowing that her voice was still on the machine. Most days I want her to be here. I am sad that I won’t get to see her smile when I graduate from nursing school. Even though I know that she is with me it won’t be the same. I know that she will be proud of me.

Well alright. I need to get ready to work out. I need to see if it will kill this headache. I don’t think that it could make it worse at this point.

Hoping to get out of being grumpy too.

FW